Symptoms

*I wanted to start this post by saying that the point of this blog is not to get pity or attention. I want to record my journey not only for myself, but for women out there who are struggling through the same thing. This blog is meant to help myself learn about the syndrome, my bodies symptoms, and it's reaction to different forms of medication/herbal remedies. This is my journey.*


PCOS bring about a plethora of symptoms. Some women don't have any while others, like lucky ole me, get them all. I have done a lot of research and have talked to my doctors about the typical symptoms of PCOS. When I was first diagnosed I asked what I could do to help my chances of getting pregnant and ridding my body of the unwelcome cysts. "Well, the first thing we tell women with pcos is lose weight though diet and exercise. Obviously you don't need to do that". Okay, so now what?

I am 26 years old. I am 5'3 and weigh between 126-130 pounds depending on the day. I watch what I eat (I follow Weight Watchers) to keep my body healthy and to manage my weight. I am also physically active. I began running year ago and just completed the Insanity workout system.

This is me! I realize this is an embarrassing picture,
but what the heck!

My point is that I guess I don't have ALL of the symptoms of pcos. I am not overweight and I do not have diabetes. However, developing diabetes is very possible if I don't maintain my weight.
So what symptoms DO I have?

Acne- My face is disgusting at times. I look like a 12 year old going through puberty. Acne covers my face and stays for a very long time. I get cystic acne (the large, deep, under the skin kind that hurt like hell), whiteheads, blackheads, etc. My chin, nose, forehead, and behind the ears are the worst places. If it weren't for makeup I wouldn't leave my house. I have seen more than 1 dermatologist, I have tried several prescribed medications, and have even tried all the face wash/acne systems. Nothing has worked.

The black and blue in front of my ear is cystic acne as well as the lowest spot. Behind my ear shows the other acne (the red).

Hair growth (hirsutism) on the face, chest, back, stomach, thumbs, and toes. This is due to the high levels of androgen. I've got it all. Gross, I know, but I shave it, pluck it, wax it, or hide it with makeup. For the purpose of these pictures I grew it out longer than usual! My hair is also pretty light so it's hard to see.




Excessive Hair Loss- Women with pcos experience male patterned hair loss. This is due to the androgen and testosterone levels. I lose hair ALL the time. I know it's normal to lose some, but you wouldn't believe how much I lose. The hair dresser told me I was balding and I cried. I knew she was right, but it's hard to hear!! She told me about some shampoo and conditioner that are supposed to help grow hair (Nioxin). I tried it... it didn't work. She told me not to use Rogain because Nioxin had a better success rate. She recommended I use Biolage to strengthen the hair I do have. *sigh*

Notice the balding. My hair is also dirty. These were taken before my shower :)

After a shower.

Few or no Menstrual Cycles- No pictures here. I went 6 months without a cycle. Now they come whenever they feel like it!


Depression- I wouldn't have said I was depressed. I thought it was my anxiety getting the best of me, but maybe it was depression. Whatever it was, I wasn't myself. I wasn't bubbly, energetic, or happy all of the time. People around me could tell that something was wrong. I went to the doctor to see what could be done about my severe anxiety. She prescribed me Celexa. It has really helped my mood, but I'm still tired all the time and it's very hard to get me to want to leave my house.

Infertility and Miscarriages- Well, I haven't had any miscarriages yet because I still haven't been able to get pregnant. We haven't REALLY been trying, but we also haven't NOT been trying. I stopped my birth control in April and have let nature take over. I pray that miscarriages won't be a problem :(

How it all Began.

I realized that something was wrong with me in August of 2010 when I hadn't had a menstrual cycle in 6 months. I took pregnancy test after pregnancy test and they all came out negative. I chalked the first few months up to the side effects of stopping birth control pills after 6 years, but started to worry when I hit the 6 month mark. I also had some extreme pains in my pelvic area and was worried something was wrong with me. While in Ohio visiting my parents, I doubled over in pain. I couldn't walk, talk, or breathe. I literally felt like I was dying. My mom wanted to take me to the ER. I decided to take some serious meds and sleep it off. The next day there was still some pain, but nothing like the day before. I made a promise to my mother that I would see the doctor as soon as I got back to Virginia.

I made an appointment with my OB/GYN and was told that my lack of menstruation was probably due to my losing weight and exercise regimen. The pain? ” Probably just cramping”. *sigh* I knew there was something else going on, but am not one to fight. I went home. A few weeks later I doubled over again in pain. This time I was at work. In the middle of a meeting. There was something wrong with me. It was not my diet, it was not my exercise. Something was wrong.

I went back to the doctor and wasn’t leaving without an answer. She did an internal exam, asked about my symptoms, and gave me a sad look. “It seems as though you have polycystic ovaries”. I broke down and started crying. I felt bad for the doctor. She tried her best to console me saying that there were a lot of women with PCOS that have gotten pregnant and that I’m young so I should be fine. I wasn’t really listening because when she said the words, “polycystic ovaries” all of my dreams of having children went out the window. I realize that that’s a bit dramatic, but that’s how it felt.

Ever since I was a kid I’ve wanted to be a mother. People would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. Yes, I would say a stay at home mom or a pediatrician (so I could be around kids). People would ask me what my biggest fear was. I would tell them not being able to have my own children. I got a LOT of slack for that at times because people thought I was terrible that my biggest fear wasn’t losing my husband while overseas and whatnot. Sorry people, I want to be pregnant, feel my baby kick, go through the birthing experience. I want a child that looks like Dan and me.

The doctor sent me to the hospital to get my blood drawn and set me up with an appointment for an internal ultrasound a few days later. I called my husband and cried. I called my mom and cried. I won’t lie… I was depressed for at least a week.

My internal ultrasound showed that indeed I did have PCOS. I have/had 12 cysts around each ovary. In fact, that horrible pain from before? It was a cyst bursting. I asked the doctor what that meant for me and having a family. He said that it may or may not cause infertility. It’s different in all women. He put me back on birth control pills to manage the pain/menstrual cycles and sent me on my way. He said when I was ready for a family I was to come back to talk about Metformin and/or Clomid.

This is not my ultrasound. I borrowed this from

HerHairlossHelp.com

Great.

PCO-What??

Hello! I'm Caitlin and I'm 26 years old. I was diagnosed with PCOS in December 2010. What is PCOS you ask? Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.

"Polycystic ovary syndrome is a condition in which there is an imbalance of a woman's female sex hormones. This hormone imbalance may cause changes in the menstrual cycle, skin changes, small cysts in the ovaries, trouble getting pregnant, and other problems."



This blog will be all about my struggles and triumphs with PCOS and TTC (trying to conceive).
Enjoy :)